April 19, 2026. We had a campfire at my spot last night. The ladies roasted potatoes in tin foil, Ladybug made keto chili, and six of us played Codenames on a table just outside the van until 11pm. Good game. I learned about it from Jack down at Roamstead in Kingman.
Something unusual has been going on with my relationship to fire during this stay.
My camping chair, five years old and nearly unscathed, has taken three new burn holes from sparks. My favorite black corduroy pants got a quarter-sized hole near the pocket. I think my butane torch ignited in my pocket somehow. My Aviator Nation sweatpants, overpriced and wonderful and gifted to me years ago, took a flying ember above the knee early in the stay. My friend Mindi patched those with her sewing machine. Then last night, sitting by the fire, I noticed something burning and looked down. It was my crotch. An ember had landed there and was quietly smoking. Quarter-sized hole, right on the front. I only carry three pairs of long pants in the van and two of them have now taken serious damage.
The van has too. And my computer. We're accumulating battle scars from this charmed life. What's curious is that none of my campmates have taken any fire damage. I think I'm being asked to ease my attachment to my belongings a little more. I've been through that this past year. The van has collected war wounds during some of the most magical experiences I've had.
I'm still enjoying the rewards of cleaning the van for the rig tour. Keep it tidy, don't let it pile up. In a house you can let things go for days or weeks. In the van it's throughout the day.
This is my first camping stay with the new freezer and it's been a genuine quality of life upgrade. I vowed not to turn on my ignition for two full weeks. My supply run was April 9th, so I'm ten days in. Plenty of food. Low on coffee and heavy cream but they should make it to the 14-day mark. I can always send a request with a campmate heading to town. I did send my trash out with someone the other day. It's remarkable how it piles up when you have to account for every bag. I burn paper and cardboard but I'm still surprised at how much I generate. I'll put more energy into minimizing it going forward.
Yesterday I edited footage I recorded in Florida of my father and my Uncle Fang. I recorded it for personal and family interest but I'm considering posting it on my channel. I know it won't reach a wide audience, but some of my friends might find it worthwhile, and that's enough. Of all the things I do in this season of life, making these videos feels like one of the most gratifying. A labor of love with the possibility of reaching someone I've never met. One of the better ways I know to put something good out into the world.
I seem to have the only spot on our quarter-mile campus that's protected from the wind, which is a big reason there have been more gatherings over here than I anticipated. The group is scheduled to disband Thursday. I might stick around a bit longer.
A few people here carry nicotine vape pens. Back in Kingman there was one yellow vape pen that everybody shared and constantly handed off. After watching it for a few days I got curious. I tried it. Now I've been trying the ones here. I know I'm flirting with danger. But I've flirted with nicotine before.
At around 24, working at Greenpoint Studio in Brooklyn, one of the engineers always smoked while he worked. I started smoking while making music, started associating it with some of my best work. Once I recognized the pattern I broke it quickly. Drank a lot of water every time I felt the pull.
At around 28, living in Seattle, I had a short relationship with Indian bidi cigarettes. They tasted good and left gooey tar on your fingers. I just stopped one day when it seemed to be becoming a habit.
Three and a half years ago, during Ayahuasca ceremony, I connected with Amazonian hapé. I used it with prayer and intention twice a day for about a year. Then I had an overwhelming sense that I needed to stop. Gave away my collection and haven't touched it since, except in ceremony.
A couple of summers ago I kept coming across articles about a nicotine product called Zyn. I got curious, tried one, immediately liked it. Allowed myself one in the morning and one in the evening. Then added an afternoon one. Before long I was doing them throughout the day, feeling less each time, more about managing the craving than enjoying anything. I had doubts about the long-term health effects and walked away. About a two to three month affair.
So I expect that's roughly how this vape curiosity will go.
These devices are something though. Fancy screens, animations, stats, controls. Many of them disposable. Astonishing.
The wind has died and it's going to hit 78 today. I'm going to work on some projects this morning and then get on the bike this afternoon to scout a new camping spot for the end of the week.